Today we are going to discuss Manners and Communication.
We have all heard the term manners matter. Why do manners matter? Well!
Manners used to be the difference between you getting the job of your dreams or someone else getting it. Companies and businesses do not want to be embarrassed by an employee because of their lack of manners and communication skills. Some would call this common sense but that’s not the case anymore.
Simple manners such as a please, thank you, holding the door so someone can walk in before you are all basic manners. They are also a way of communicating. So, why don’t people practice them anymore?
Lack of communication skills and the ability for people to speak comfortably one on one or to a crowd are one of the reasons.
My thoughts are we as a society are more uncomfortable with person to person communication partly because of electronics. With the world of technology and new devices, the need for people to communicate has been overridden based on ease, distance, and a global economy.
As an example, computers are taking away the art of writing among other things. Cell phones are taking the need to produce a well-articulated and thought-provoking sentence.
With shortened sentences due to texting acronyms like, “omg r u serious.” We cannot even speak clearly when every grammar tool is available.
Humans thrive in areas where they practice. Manners and proper communication skills are no exception to this rule.
Colleges express the importance of communication and leadership skills in their courses. However, it would also be beneficial to teach the skills of common courtesy and manners to compliment them. This will produce a well-rounded individual and will help in the job interview process after college.
Understanding Communication
A piece from, Queensland Government.
“Success in any conversation is likely to be achieved through both parties listening to and understanding each other. Practice the following skills in any business situation where you communicate with others.
Key communication skills
Useful communication skills for building positive interpersonal relationships include:
- active listening
- understanding non-verbal signals
- maintaining eye contact
- assertiveness
- being mindful of people’s individual space
- using positive body language
- dealing with different points of view.
Personal awareness skills that help with communication include:
- understanding the benefits of a positive attitude
- awareness of how others perceive you
- self-confidence
- presentation – dressing appropriately for different occasions.
It also helps to consider the circumstances surrounding your communications, such as the situational and cultural context.”
Why Manners Matter
Snippet from, Mountain State Centers for Independent Living.
“Manners are something used every day to make a good impression on others and to feel good about oneself. No matter where you are – at home, work, or with friends – practicing good manners is important.
Good manners are more than opening doors and writing thank you notes. While opening doors for others and writing notes is nice, true courtesy goes deeper. Being polite and courteous means considering how others are feeling.
If you practice good manners, you are showing those around you that you are considerate of their feelings and respectful. You are also setting standards for others’ behavior and encouraging them to treat you with similar respect.
Every culture and individual may have different rules or feelings about what is polite or is not polite.”
Manners and Communication skills should start in the home. Making your child say, “excuse me please,” instead of letting them interrupt is not cruel, it’s teaching them manners and patience. Two things which will help them in every area of their life.
When I was young, it was a very special treat to eat out at a restaurant. Since this was the case, our best manners were expected to be present at all times. Knowing our father would leave the restaurant if poor manners were shown in any way my older siblings would give us younger ones the evil eye if they thought in any way we were about to ruin their special outing.
Today when I go out it is a whole new experience. People’s children are screaming and running around in the restaurant. I’m not talking about little babies who can’t help it, but children old enough to know better.
I’ve even witnessed adults showing a complete lack of manners. As a prior restaurant owner, I was appalled as I watched a woman in her twenties, eat fried chicken and then throw the bones on the restaurant floor and all over the table.
The parents in these cases have obviously been a little lax on the whole manner issue. This is sad since this will affect them as they grow as in the case of the woman.
Manners matter because people matter and our treatment of them. Communication matters because of how people are able to relate to us.
Luke 6:31 “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” This golden rule is stated in almost every ancient writing that has to do with behavioral precepts and you can see why.
If we want someone to show us manners and proper communication, then we better be giving them in return. Want kindness? Then give kindness. You get the idea.
Nobody’s perfect but these common courtesies are all ones we can improve upon. Not only for yourself but for the people around you.
With that, have a great week and remember to let your best manners shine.
-Heather Earles
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